SECTION CLXXVII
"Bhishma said, 'Issuing out of the city, Amva reflected sorrowfully in
this strain. 'There is not in the whole world a young woman in such a
miserable plight as I! Alas, destitute of friends, I am rejected by Salwa
also! I cannot go back to the city named after an elephant, for I was
permitted by Bhishma to leave that city, expectant of Salwa! Whom then
shall I blame? Myself? Or, the invincible Bhishma? Or, that foolish
father of mine who made arrangements for my self-choice? Perhaps, it is
my own fault! Why did I not leap down before from Bhishma's car, when
that fierce battle took place, for coming to Salwa? That I am so
afflicted now, as if deprived of my senses, is the fruit of that omission
of mine! Cursed be Bhishma! Cursed be my own wretched father of foolish
understanding, who had arranged prowess to be my dower, sending me out as
if I were a woman (disposed) for a consideration! Cursed be myself!
Cursed be king Salwa himself and cursed be my creator too! Cursed be they
through whose fault such great misery hath been mine! Human beings always
suffer what is destined for them. The cause, however, of my present
affliction is Bhishma, the son of Santanu; I, therefore, see that at
present my vengeance should fall upon him, either through ascetic
austerities or by battle, for he is the cause of my woe! But what king is
there that would venture to vanquish Bhishma in battle? Having settled
this, she issued out of the city for repairing to an asylum of the
high-souled ascetics of virtuous deeds. The night she stayed there,
surrounded by those ascetics. And that lady of sweet smiles told those
ascetics, O Bharata, all that had happened to herself with the minutest
details, O mighty-armed one, about her abduction, and her rejection by
Salwa.'
"There lived in that asylum an eminent Brahmana of rigid vows, and his
name was Saikhavatya. Endued with ascetic merit of a high order, he was a
preceptor of the scriptures and the Aranyakas. And the sage Saikhavatya,
of great ascetic merit, addressed that afflicted maiden, that chaste girl
sighing heavily in grief, and said, 'If it hath been so, O blessed lady,
what can high-souled ascetics residing in their (woody) retreats and
engaged in penances do?' That maiden, however, O king, answered him,
saying, 'Let mercy be shown to me; I desire a life in the woods, having
renounced the world. I will practise the severest of ascetic austerities.
All that I now suffer is certainly the fruit of those sins that I had
committed from ignorance in my former life. I do not venture to go back
to my relatives, the ascetics, rejected and cheerless that I am knowing
that I have been humiliated by Salwa! Ye that have washed away your sins,
godlike as the are, I desire that the should instruct me in ascetic
penance! Oh, let mercy be shown to me!' Thus addressed, that sage then
comforted the maiden by examples and reasons borrowed from the
scriptures. And having consoled her thus, he promised, with the other
Brahmanas, to do what she desired.'"
--------------------END OF PARVA 5 : UPA-PARVA 177 ---------------------
