SECTION XIX
"Draupadi said, 'This O Bharata, that I am going to tell you is another
great grief of mine. Thou shouldst not blame me, for I tell you this
from sadness of heart. Who is there whose grief is not enhanced at sight
of thee, O bull of the Bharata race, engaged in the ignoble office of a
cook, so entirely beneath you and calling thyself as one of Vallava
caste? What can be sadder than this, that people should know you as
Virata's cook, Vallava by name, and therefore one that is sunk in
servitude? Alas, when your work of the kitchen is over, you humbly
sittest beside Virata, calling thyself as Vallava the cook, then
despondency seizeth my heart. When the king of kings in joy maketh thee
fight with elephants, and the women of the inner apartments (of the
palace) laugh all the while, then I am sorely distressed. When thou
fightest in the inner apartments with lions, tigers, and buffaloes, the
princess Kaikeyi looking on, then I almost swoon away. And when Kaikeyi
and those maidservants, leaving their seats, come to assist me and find
that instead of suffering any injury in limbs mine is only a swoon, the
princess speaks unto her women, saying, 'Surely, it is from affection and
the duty begot of intercourse that this lady of sweet smiles grieveth for
the exceedingly powerful cook when he fights with the beasts. Sairindhri
is possessed of great beauty and Vallava also is eminently handsome. The
heart of woman is hard to know, and they, I fancy, are deserving of each
other. It is, therefore, likely that the Sairindhri invariably weepeth
(at such times) on account of her connection with her lover. And then,
they both have entered this royal family at the same time. And speaking
such words she always upbraideth me. And beholding me wroth at this, she
suspects me to be attached to thee.' When she speaketh thus, great is the
grief that I feel. Indeed, on beholding thee, O Bhima of terrible
prowess, afflicted with such calamity, sunk as I already am in grief on
account of Yudhishthira. I do not desire to live. That youth who on a
single car had vanquished all celestials and men, is now, alas, the
dancing master of king Virata's daughter. That Pritha's son of
immeasurable soul, who had gratified Agni in the forest of Khandava, is
now living in the inner apartments (of a palace) like fire hid in a well.
Alas, the bull among men, Dhananjaya, who was ever the terror of foes, is
now living in a guise that is despaired by all. Alas, he whose mace-like
arms have been cicatrized in consequence of the strokes of his
bow-string, alas that Dhananjaya is passing the days in grief covering
his wrists with bracelets of conchs. Alas, that Dhananjaya the twang of
whose bow-string and the sound of whose leathern fences made every foe
tremble, now entertains only gladdened women with his songs. Oh, that
Dhananjaya whose head was formerly decked with a diadem of solar
splendour, is now wearing braids ending in unsightly curls. O Bhima,
beholding that terrible bowman, Arjuna, now wearing braids and in the
midst of women, my heart is stricken with woe. That high-souled hero who
is master of all the celestial weapons, and who is the repository of all
the sciences, now weareth ear-rings (like one of the fair sex). That
youth whom kings of incomparable prowess could not overpower in fight,
even as the waters of the mighty ocean cannot overleap the continents, is
now the dancing-master of king Virata's daughters and waits upon them in
disguise. O Bhima, that Arjuna the clatter of whose car-wheels caused the
entire earth with her mountains and forests, her mobile and immobile
things to tremble, and whose birth dispelled all the sorrows of Kunti,
that exalted hero, that younger brother of thine, O Bhimasena, now maketh
me weep for him. Beholding him coming towards me, decked in golden
ear-rings and other ornaments, and wearing on the wrists bracelets of
conchs, my heart is afflicted with despondency. And Dhananjaya who hath
not a bowman equal unto him on earth in prowess, now passeth his days in
singing, surrounded by women. Beholding that son of Pritha who in virtue,
heroism and truth, was the most admired in the world, now living in the
guise of a woman, my heart is afflicted with sorrow. When I behold, the
godlike Partha in the music-hall like an elephant with rent temples
surrounded by she-elephants in the midst of females, waiting before
Virata the king of the Matsyas, then I lose all sense of directions.
Surely, my mother-in-law doth not know Dhananjaya to be afflicted with
such extreme distress. Nor doth she know that descendant of the Kuru
race, Ajatasatru, addicted to disastrous dice, to be sunk in misery. O
Bharata, beholding the youngest of you all, Sahadeva, superintending the
kine, in the guise of a cowherd, I grow pale. Always thinking of
Sahadeva's plight, I cannot, O Bhimasena, obtain sleep,--what to speak
you of the rest? I do not know, O mighty-armed one, what sin Sahadeva may
have committed for which that hero of unbaffled prowess suffereth such
misery. O foremost of the Bharatas, beholding that beloved brother of
thine, that bull among men, employed by Matsya in looking after his kine,
I am filled with woe. Seeing that hero of proud disposition gratifying
Virata, by living at the head of his cowherds, attired in robes dyed in
red. I am attacked with fever. My mother-in-law always applauds the
heroic Sahadeva as one possessed of nobility, excellent behaviour, and
rectitude of conduct. Ardently attached to her sons, the weeping Kunti
stood, embracing Sahadeva while he was about to set out (with us) for the
great forest. And she addressed me saying, "Sahadeva is bashful and
sweet-speeched, and virtuous. He is also my favourite child. Therefore, O
Yajnaseni, tend him in the forest day and night. Delicate and brave,
devoted to the king, and always worshipping his elder brother, do thou, O
Panchali, feed him thyself.' O Pandava, beholding that foremost of
warriors, Sahadeva, engaged in tending kine, and sleeping at night on
calf-skins, how can I bear to live? He again who is crowned with the
three attributes of beauty, arms, and intelligence, is now the
superintendent of Virata's steeds. Behold the change brought on by time.
Granthika (Nakula), at sight of whom hostile hosts fled from the field of
battle, now traineth horses in the presence of the king, driving them
with the speed. Alas, I now see that handsome youth wait upon the
gorgeously decked and excellent Virata, the king of the Matsyas, and
display horses before him. O son of Pritha, afflicted as I am with all
these hundred kinds of misery on account of Yudhishthira, why dost thou,
O chastiser of foes, yet deem me happy? Listen now to me, O son of Kunti,
as I tell you of other woes far surpassing these. What can be sadder to
me than miseries so various as these should emaciate me while the are
alive.'"
--------------------END OF PARVA 4 : UPA-PARVA 19 ---------------------
